i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
