just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
