guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Semen is not good for contacts.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
