My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
