Kiss
Puke
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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