my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
