so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
