He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
