I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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