I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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