Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
