just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize