jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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