so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
