That's intense
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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