I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
