Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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