i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
