I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We need a shit load of segways right now
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
