went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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