There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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