Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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