we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
