We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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