Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
