Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
