just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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