i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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