oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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