A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
