Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
