now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
