I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
