just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
