You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
