we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
