the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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