i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
