I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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