Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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