The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
