im drinking this country out of the recession.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
