I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
