It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
