if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize