and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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