I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
