look no pants
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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