I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You can't special order awesome
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
