let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There was a lot of him and a little penis
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
