I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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