what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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