ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
